Happier Days (11-13 months)

Happier Days (11-13 months old)

Chapter 7

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in. - Rachel Carson

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.- Alex Haley


Though my daughter was removed from my home by the police with an undertaking placed against her to have no contact with me, I felt I had an obligation towards my grandson to encouraged her to maintain a relationship with her child. For that reason I allowed contact to continue, encouraging her to visit her son whenever she wanted to. However, during the next 3 months, she chose to see him only 6 times, usually short visitations in my home. Once, she took him for an overnight visitation to his father.

During this time my daughter was working full time but she gave no money, no clothes, no baby supplies - nothing - towards his support. However, feeling that the father should be assisting, she did press him to give me $200 for expenses which she promptly delivered to me.

While my grandson was residing solely with me I began an observation assignment in one of my university psychology courses where we were asked to make 5 minute observations of a specific subject - I chose my grandson as my research subject.

The following are my notes and observations at the beginning of my project. :

I observed the various ways that my grandson, _____, communicated. During the research period ______ was 11 to 13 months old. I chose this research because I was already interested in grandson's budding ability to communicate and I thought this experience would hone my observational abilities and insights on this particular subject. In addition, _______ had been living with me since he was born and I thought that observations on him would be relatively easy. Due to the nature of the observations, no particular time was set for five minute swatches. As a result, observations were spontaneously taken when _______ was actively communicating. Later, to add to my initial observation, I attempted to interviewed a couple who either separately or together had been with _______ on an almost daily basis.

My Observations:
Observations showed that _______ was a very outgoing child who was not afraid to connect with people. In particular, _______ used direct eye contact a lot. It was not unusual for this child to walk right up to strangers, stand at their feet and just stare up at them until communication was established. [my grandson was an early walker, beginning at 9 months so that at the time of these observations he was not only a proficient walker he was also a very proficient soccer ball dribbler.] On the bus, _______ was often observed "playing the crowd" with his eyes and his smiles. I would suddenly look around and see all these people on the bus making eyes and communicating back at this little boy sitting in his stroller who was busy flopping his feet and expressing himself with his eyes.

I observed that there were particular ways of communicating that _______ reserved for certain people he saw on a regular basis . For example, I observed _______ winking and blinking in a very expressive way to the babysitter. When I tried to get _______ to repeat this with me I could not, but I was told by the sitter that this was an action that he did repeatedly with her.

Over 21 observations, the main means of communication which I observed with _______ were smiling, eye contact, verbal utterances, and initiating play, communication, or interaction. Smiles were noted in 14 of 21 observations, eye contact in 11 of 21 observations, verbal utterances in 10 of 21 observations and initiating play, communication or interaction in 13 of 21 observations.

Observation # 1:
_______ was playing with his toys in the living room. I was sitting on the couch without my socks on reading my papers for my university course. While I was reading, _______ came up to me with his small black plastic bowling ball and began biting my toes, my foot and my lower leg. Distracted from my reading I began to talk to him, noticed the ball he had with him and assuming that he wanted to play catch, I put down my papers and got down on the floor to roll the ball to him. _______ responded with "happy talk" and smiles as I set him on his bum and opened up his legs to a V position and began rolling the ball back and forth to him.

Observation # 2
When I go to pick up _______ from the sitters, as I am getting his snowsuit on him, I notice him making extreme animated faces at the sitter. He is staring at the sitter, blinking his eyes, and winking as well, in a very exaggerated way. The sitter is staring back at him, a big smile on her face but not surprised at his actions. I am completely surprised, he has never made such faces around me before and I am taken aback by the extreme degree of expressiveness.

Observation # 3:
I hear _______ crying in his crib in his room. He has woken up for the day. As I walk to his room I tell him, " I'm coming baby. Just a minute. I'm coming" When I open the door, _______ is standing at the end of the crib closest to the door whimpering. As I pick him up, I tell him, " I'm here. I love you sweetie." As I hold him close while walking down the hallway, _______ gives me seven firm pats on my back. I respond by hugging him and telling him that I love him. He is smiling and "talks" to me.

Observation # 4:
_______ has been playing with his toys on the living room floor as I rush back and forth and in and out picking up and straightening up. _______ gets up from his play and busily walks several times across the room waving his hand and "talking". Then he stands at the end of his barrier his voice getting louder and more demanding.

He stretches up on his toes several times grunting each time.

"Get your ball? Where's your ball?" I ask.

He continues his actions and grunting. I find the ball, give it to him and lift him across the barrier. Immediately, he walks to the door with the ball. He is quiet now and smiling looking at the door knob. I open the door and he walks out to dribble his much deflated soccer ball down the hallway.

Observation # 5:
I am sitting in the living room. I have just finished straightening up by putting most of the toys in the toy basket, the stuffed animals on the shelf and _______'s books on the coffee table. When _______ gets up from his nap I put him down on the living room floor. He is smiling. He goes to the basket and begins to empty the basket. He grabs the toys one by one and just throws them on the floor. When he has emptied most of the toys from the basket , he moves on to the stuffed animals on the shelf. Again, grabbing hold of them one at a time and just throwing them on the floor. With that done he then moves across the room to the books on the coffee table and scatters them on the floor. Now he finds a toy, a caterpillar which lights up and makes music when it is used, and begins interacting with it.

Observation # 6:
_______ walks into the bosses office. He stands in the middle of the floor and just stares at her. When she notices him, he smiles. She responds by telling him what a "cutie" he is. He walks around like a penguin, his hands close to his sides. More positive verbal response from the boss and the other person in the room. I just quietly watch his antics. The boss starts reading some papers on her desk. _______ hides behind a small open shelf door near the floor and quietly peeks out at the boss. He does this three times before she looks his way. She responds with delight that he is playing peek-a-boo with her. He continues to engage her in the peek-a-boo game several more time before she must return to the work on her desk.

Observation # 7:
_______ walks to his spring horse. He circles the horse three times. He leans against the saddle from the far side and looks directly at me. Keeping his gaze on me he raises himself on his toes several times while leaning on the saddle. He does not make any noises. It is only these movements but I figure that he wants to ride on the horse so I get up and place him on the saddle. I place his hands on the handle by the horse's mouth and his feet on the crossbar. His mouth is beaming, his eyes are wide open. He still is not "talking". Standing from behind, I start bouncing the horse. There is still no verbal response so I need to look at his face to gauge his response His smile is now an open smile and his eyes are now beaming. I continue to bounce the horse for him. Then I try to show him how to bounce the horse by putting the pressure on his body to get the horse to bounce. I take my hands away and let him try a few feeble bounces on his own. Again, I bounce him for a bit. He starts leaning to one side and I am not sure if he has lost his balance a little or if he wants off so I straighten him up. But he leans to the side again. Thinking he wants off, I remove him. He is still happy. He moves to the front of the horse. We both pat the horse and I say, "Thank you horsey ". Happily he walks away and finds a toy to play with.

Observation # 8:
It is getting late and _______ still seems to have a lot of energy to burn so I take his slightly deflated soccer ball and tell him, "Come on let's go play with the ball". He smiles. We go out into the hallway and I put the ball down on the floor. But instead of dribbling the ball down the hallway like he usually does, he goes straight across the hallway and knocks on the neighbor's door. Then he stands there looking up at the doorknob. He knocks again. The neighbors open the door and he just walks right in with his little penguin walk. He sees a certain lady who has not been at the neighbor's for almost three months sitting on the couch and he runs off into her arms with his arms outstretched. I leave him for a little visit.

Observation # 9:
I go over to pick up _______ from the neighbor's across the hall. _______ is walking back and forth from the bedroom corridor to the living room, stopping every once in a while to smile and to take in the admiring comments made about him. The man brings out a sport water bottle for _______ and hands it to the woman.

_______ walks over to the woman. She tips the water bottle back. He drinks a bit and then gives a breathy "h" sound. She responds with smiles and a breathy "h". He drinks again. Another "h" from him followed by a "h" from her. She explains that this is his regular response when drinking from the sport water bottle. I am watching this thinking how cute he is. He takes a couple more sips followed by the breathy "h".

Observation # 10:
I am laying down on the couch when _______ makes short demanding noises. _______ is beside the CD player looking at me. I get up and turn on the music. _______ is smiling, talking and interacting with the music by bouncing and dancing to the beat. Meanwhile I lay down on the floor beside him putting a blanket over me and a light blocking "sleep sock" over my eyes. He pulls off the blanket three times smiling and "talking" all the while. As I put on the blanket for the third time, I tell him that Grammie needs the blanket to keep her warm. Then _______ comes over and pulls my "sleep sock" from my eyes four times all the while smiling and laughing. This time, I sit up half way. _______ then takes off to play with his caterpillar, but about half a minute later, _______ brings the caterpillar over and starts to bang it around my head. I now sit up all the way. Meanwhile _______ gets his Eore shaped rattle, and stands up in front of me. He looks at me and shakes Eore. At this point I am well up and wide awake.

Observation # 11:
_______ is walking around whining. He has been fed. I check his diapers. They're fine. I pick him up in my arms and try to soothe him. He squiggles down from my lap and continues whining. Then _______ says, "mi, mi". "Milk?" I ask. Then ______'s "mi, mi" become more urgent and he starts crying. Meanwhile, I run to get the milk from the fridge. When he sees me coming with the bottle, _______'s cries are more persistent. I put him on my lap, put the bottle in his mouth and he quietly drinks the bottle half way down. Then he squiggles off my laps and goes to play with his toys.

Observation # 12:
_______ is whining. I look at the clock. It is close enough to lunch. I buckle him into the highchair and snap the table top on the chair. He snaps his mouth onto the first few spoonfuls offered. Then he begins to "talk" between spoonfuls. I talk back to him. Slowly, more and more time elapses between spoonfuls. Finally I offer a spoon and he initially keeps his mouth closed. Only after I play "airplane" modeling an open mouth does _______ open his mouth. I do this successfully with two more spoonfuls of food. Then I offer another spoonful, but now he turns his head. I offer it two more times, but the head remains turned. At this point, I tell him "All finished". I wash his hands and face, I unsnap the table top, and I unbuckle him. As I lift him out, I give him a hug then I put him down to play with his toys.

Observation # 13:
_______ has been playing with his toys. He comes over to me while I am sitting on the couch. He pulls on me while standing on his toes. I lift him up and he snuggles with me for five minutes. He smiles, he talks, he hugs me. Then he squiggles off the couch and returns to his toys.

Observation # 14:
I start to feed _______ his bottle but he gives me irritating noises. He starts to squiggle his body but he is not squiggling down. I readjust _______ in my arms so that he can see the television while he is drinking the bottle. Then he stops his irritating noises and his squiggling and peacefully drinks his bottle.

Observation # 15:
I am sitting on the couch reading while _______ is playing with his toys. _______ picks up a book from his pile by the coffee table. It is his favorite Brown Bear Brown Bear.

“Do you want Grammie to read you the book?” I ask.

_______ brings the book to me stretching it out towards me in his right hand. I lift him up onto my lap. _______ is smiling.

I read expressively, "I see a . . . ( We turn the page together as I name the animal and make the animal's sound) looking at me!"

_______ smiles as the animals are named. He looks at me often as I read and he touches the pictures. When I finish, I hug him and we review the animals as he flips through the pages backwards. Then he squiggles off my lap and returns to his toys.

Observation # 16:
_______ begins pacing back and forth making noises that follow the rhythm of a speech pattern. He is moving his hand forward and back like people who talk with their hands keeping rhythm to the speech patterns. He is looking intently into the air as if he is in serious conversation with someone I cannot see. I am sitting there amazed watching this. He does not seem to notice my presence. The conversation is intense as he continues to pace back and forth for about three minutes. Eventually, he eyes a toy that catches his attention. The "conversation" ends and he sits down to play with his toys.

Observation # 17:
_______ goes to dribble his ball in the hallway. As he comes to the front foyer, he meets a neighbor. _______ walks right up to this person, and stands there smiling, looking directly at this person's face.

"You are a cutie" this person begins the conversation.

_______ walks around the foyer a couple of times. All the time this person is making admiring conversation about _______. _______ stops and makes eye contact several times. Then _______ picks up the ball and throws the it towards this person. The ball is then thrown back. _______ throws it again. Once again, the throw is returned before this person goes out the door. _______ follows this person to the glass doors. This person waves good-by. _______ waves good-by.

Observation # 18:
On the bus _______ is sitting in his stroller. I see various people smiling and squinting and making faces towards _______. I look at _______ in the stroller. He is smiling and actively engaged in making eye contact with the various people. He is flopping both his feet up and down as he sits in the stroller and his eyes are animated.