A 11. Swallowed into the System: the Nightmare Continues

Swallowed into the System: the Nightmare Continues

Chapter # 11

At the end of this two week period, Children Services moved in, their jaws opened wide and we all tumbled into our nightmare. Instead of returning my grandson to my home where he was loved and well looked after, he was taken into “care” and placed in a foster home. This, despite the fact that, within the first weeks of my grandson's “kidnapping”, as one woman I know phrases it, Children Services recognized in their own records that I was legally "parent" under the law according to the Adoption Act, because of the time he was in my sole care, and despite the claim of the Children and Family Services Act that all attempts to place children with family are suppose to be explored before placing children in foster homes with strangers.

This action of placing my grandson in a foster home instead of returning him to me was sharply criticized by Dr Carol Pye, the psychologist who reviewed the assessment that I was later forced to submitted to. And no attempt was ever made to contact any relatives so that my grandson could be with family instead of strangers.

Once my grandson was taken into custody, I was denied any access to him until the first court appearance - 6 weeks later! I was later to learn that the first court appearance, once a child is apprehended, according to the Children and Family Services Act is suppose to take place in five days - This did not happen with my grandson. It was six long weeks of worry and concern before I was able to go to court to request being added as a "Third Party" and request immediate access to my grandson.

No legal action was ever taken against me - I was added as Third Party by request. The only thing I did was to dare to raise my hand to request custody of my grandson when it was apparent that Children Services was determined to swallow him into the system.

The legal action that brought this matter to court was against my daughter and the father for physical and emotional neglect over this two week period. This in itself, I was to find out later, was improper because removing a child from a family is only suppose to be done if the concern is ongoing and only after services are offered to help the family. Two weeks does not cut it, and I had already requested help for my daughter and Children Services had done nothing for her!

Incredibly, Children Services took over the court time scheduled for MY custody and maintenance application for their own proceedings. Meanwhile, my uncle from out of province came to assist me. He was not a lawyer but in his line of work, as a consultant, he had acquired a good amount of practical court experience.

Despite the fact that this court action was against both my daughter and the father, the father did not come to the first court appearance and my daughter appeared without council. This would be the only court appearance my daughter would attended for over a year! My question is: how is it possible to have a court action against you go on for a year and no one in the system compels you to appear?

My daughter had now decided to give my grandson up for adoption and she did not want either me or the father to have custody. Though the father had informed Children Services that he would not give his formal permission to have ______adopted out, he still had not decided on any particular action and thus had not come to this first court appearance. As a recognized legal “parent I was also contacted to give my permission to have my grandson adopted out . Of course, my answer was no. My daughter may not have bonded with this child, but I had! I loved him and he was family.

On that first day in court, I was without legal counsel but the justice (the correct term for the judge in the Supreme Court - Family Division of Nova Scotia) allowed my uncle to speak on my behalf. In my uncle's presentation, he informed the court that I had already implemented a court action for custody and maintenance and that I was seeking the amalgamation of these two court actions. He also stated that I was seeking immediate access to my grandson as well as recognition as “Third Party”. This “Third Party” status was significant because having this status granted meant I could actively participate in the court proceedings and that I was privy to all documents involving this case.

This is no small feat when one is dealing with Children Services cases because though the public can access the court documentation of any other court cases in Nova Scotia, they are barred from accessing the records of Children Services court cases - unless they are a party to the proceedings.

This denial of access to Children Services records, I have come to know, is not for the protection of the child, as they would have you believe. Rather, it is to protect the system that habitually works outside the law.

The justice immediately responded in the affirmative to both requests, I would be permitted to apply for “Third Party” status and I was granted immediate access to my grandson. However, the justice explained my original court action would be temporarily placed aside so that I would be able to pick up my action, depending on the outcome of this Children Services case. This option would later prove to be very significant to me.

In response, my daughter, determined to block my access to my grandson, popped up and persistently argued with the justice against my access. The justice was exceedingly patient with my daughter as she persistently repeated her argument stating that she did not want this, that she had an agreement with Children's Services concerning this, and that he, the judge, did not have the power to permit this. In a calm voice, the justice repeatedly responded that he did have this power while my daughter persisted in stating that he did not.

As a watched this spectacle unfold, I was shocked at my daughters total disregard for this justice’s authority, but at the same time I realized that this action, exposed aspects of my daughter character to the court and I believed, in the long run, this might prove advantageous to me. I was naive to the fact that showing disrespect for the court has little to do with the outcome if Children Services is using you to get what they want.

As my uncle and I discussed my options after this first court appearance, we decided to explore the possibility of getting support from Sher and Terry in my effort to get my grandson out of foster care and back home, in my custody, where he belonged. As a result, we arranged to meet this couple at their apartment on March 26, 2000.

But this meeting turned out to be a bizarre and strange encounter. Sprinkled throughout this apartment, were numerous photos of my grandson. Some were individual photos of my grandson, but most were photos with Terry and _____, or Sher and _____, or her son and ______ or all of them together with ______!

This, I noted was a definite change from when they lived in the apartment across the hallway from me. In that apartment, I recalled only one photo of my grandson on display. Here was what my uncle described amounted to a shrine. In an affidavit filed almost five months later my uncle would state , “that with Terry and Sher's apartment full of _______'s pictures and his other memorabilia, it appeared that ______ was already considered a family member. I considered this obsession with ______ to be dangerous and unrealistic for a common law couple to have placed so much attention on _______."

But the worst was yet to come. Before we even broached the subject of supporting me, troubling words tumbled from their lips. First of all, they wanted to make it adamantly clear that they never considered themselves friends of Natasha. This was stated in such venomous tones by Terry and affirmed so vigorously by Sher, I was shocked and the sense of an evil cold knife ripped into the depth of my soul.

Such a statement, and expressed so emphatically, totally took me off guard. Everything that I had seen and knew of their relationship with my daughter, spoke to me of friendship. Yet here they were disowning my daughter with utter disdain and contempt! A chill run down my spine, and I had to ask myself, “If this was not friendship on their part, then what was it?” And the only answer I could fathom was that that this couple had been fawning friendship with my daughter to get close to my grandson. And the realization of this sent a chill, even colder than the last, through me.

My uncle and I did not respond but allowed this couple to continue to babble on, and as they babbled they spoke of their desire to adopt my grandson. It was apparent that they assumed my approval as they glibly chatted on that they would allow me to continue to see my grandson if they were successful.